Fanfic Note
by rhcpftw
Summary: Light Yagami, an aspiring writer, finds a Fanfic Note outside of his school. With it, you can make your story enter the mind of someone instantaneously. But the book has several dark secrets, and who knows how our hero will use his new powers...


Disclaimer: Death Note was written by Tsugumi Ohba and illustrated by Takeshi Obata. I do not own anything nor do I claim to. This is a non-profit parody for entertainment purposes only. Please support the official release.

**...**

**Prologue**

"Dammit Light stop being an asexual douche and pay attention to me while I'm monotonously reading this sentence in broken English!" the teacher said, insulted at not being complimented for his hard work. "As punishment how about YOU finish translating this while I pretend not to pay attention!"

Light Yagami, 18-year-old student, junior tennis champion, voted #1 gorgeous asshole in Japan, known child prodigy and annoying Gary Stu, stood up and easily finished translating whatever the teacher had just been going on about. This book bored him to death - seriously, he was a much better writer than this...Wirruiamu Shakuspeeru. I mean who had ever heard of that guy? Light Yagami was an aspiring writer, and thus spent most of his time locked up in his room writing and publishing stories on the internet where his genius was thoroughly ignored for some reason. Just as he ignored books written by actual writers - who needed them anyway?

"Yeah well...your name is stupid" the teacher said after having been utterly humiliated in front of the whole class which was filled with people totally unimportant to the plot. "Class dismissed!"

The whole class screamed "yatta!" or whatever. Have I finished rubbing it in that this takes place in Japan, just like every other fic out there? Anyway, Light could have sworn he saw a book appear out of nowhere in the middle of class and naturally deduced that it must have been a magical book. So, finders keepers.

"Fanuficu Noto?" Light said in a typical Japanese accent even though I just described how awesome he was at English a moment ago as he picked up the mysterious black book from the ground. He opened the first page and saw a bunch of 'rules' written in - wait for it...English! "Goddammit" Light said. "Oh well, let's see here, rule number one: the fanfic of your choice can instantly enter the mind of of anyone you wish as long as you have a name or a face. - THAT'S AMAZING!" Light exclaimed. "Why would I even bother continuing reading the rest of the rules?! Oh well I better be thorough, and for the convenience of any people reading my mind, I'll list them in an orderly fashion:

Rule number two: if they mentally rate it below 7 out of 10, they'll die of a heart attack unless they get some crazy idea from your fanfic. ("Well it's not like anyone will give it less than a 7 so I really don't have to worry about this little footnote")

Rule number three: You have to start out with criminals. Think of it like cannon fodder...or expendable guinea pigs. Once they one criminal has given your story a rating of 7 or higher, you can target whoever you want. ("Well I can't see any flaws with that logic").

Rule number four: No, seriously, unless someone has commited a serious crime, they are immune to your fanfic.

Rule number five: You have to write the name of the person you want to expose to your fanfic in this book. Your story can be written on both computers and by hand. This should really have been rule number one or two, but I'm not the writer here, YOU are! ("Damn straight I am!")

Rule number six: You have to come up with your own stories. What kind of dirtbag steals someone else's work anyway? ("Can I steal a bunch of ideas from other fanfics though?")

Rule number seven: You can steal a bunch of ideas from other fanfics, however. I mean, otherwise it wouldn't really be fanfiction. ("Hurray!")

Rule number eight: It takes about a minute for the entire story to get processed by your target. It is not painful unless your story is awful. ("Well I won't have to worry about that either!")

Light closed the book and put it in his (very manly) purse. His supposedly beautiful face that made people fall in love with him instantaneously basked in the sunlight and covered his creepy grin. At last he had the necessary tools to make the world realize what a good writer he was. He would just have to target one criminal, make him fall in love with his story, and then he could target the world's most famous critics and they could sell his story for him. Genius. There was no other word to describe it. He already had a bunch of stories finished so he could get started immediately.

"Watch out, world, the man who will capture all of your hearts is on the move!" Light positively screamed in the now mostly empty school yard before he dashed home, leaving behind him only a few confused students and a janitor who muttered the word 'pretentious dick'.

**...**

AN: End of the prologue!

So what do you guys think? Please tell me in your reviews.

Also, one very important question - should shinigami appear? Of course they'd probably be something else but still - I wonder if they'll be necessary in this story. Another thing: how should I portray L, and what do you think will happen next?

Leave your thoughts in a review! Also, favoriting this story makes a baby panda laugh.


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